Humour

Pubblicato il 23 Agosto 2019 da Veronica Baker

The intelligent investor is a realist who sells to optimists and buys from pessimists.

Benjamin Graham


Old, but surely funny.


Novembre 12, 2008


Humour

Humour
Old, but surely funny…

Due to today’s rapidly changing stock market, the following terms have had to be revised for investors in order to more clearly reflect today’s economic condition :

CEO — Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing

BROKER — What my broker has made me
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Last year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.



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