Pubblicato il 23 Agosto 2019 da Veronica Baker
The intelligent investor is a realist who sells to optimists and buys from pessimists.
Old, but surely funny.
Novembre 12, 2008
Due to today’s rapidly changing stock market, the following terms have had to be revised for investors in order to more clearly reflect today’s economic condition :
CEO — Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing
BROKER — What my broker has made me
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks
CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Last year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.